Contradict with revenge and don’t comprehend it.
I’m 22 tmrw. I couldn’t care less.
I’m really putting cover up on my feelings. I have a thick one that suits today. My mood I think. I don’t want anyone to see me.
I’m thinking about how in thirty minutes, I’ll push my face against the window of the bus. Trying to feel bigger than how someone hurting you physically makes you feel.
Because it’s some kind of reversion, I’m five again and I’m scared of how I feel. Its mixed with something else in me.
I am suddenly consumed by it.
As much I make a conscience effort everyday… I hate that someone could rob me of the only thing I actively am trying to move towards. It pains me for being so weak. Today I have makeup placed precariously to cover up everything. I don’t want advice, I don’t want sympathy. I don’t want anything I didn’t already have. I’m sick of busters coming back, I’m tired of men on the street. I’m tired of boys at shows. I’m tired of men. Im tired of everyone. I’m tired of feeling helpless cause of my vagina. The knife in my purse is bigger than your dick. I’m tired of trying to create an ideal space for myself and some man decides he’ll beat it of me. I’m tired. My vision is impaired.